


Remember.

by hopwheelr



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Boys In Love, Coming Out, Crying, Declarations Of Love, Heartbreak, Imagination, Lost Love, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Revelations, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Spooky, Wishful Thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-17 01:22:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21045974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopwheelr/pseuds/hopwheelr
Summary: It's been six months since Eddie was officially gone and Richie has a hard time to believe it. He walked everyday to that abandoned haunted house, now completely destroyed, to visit him. He wished to see the person he has loved the most to come back to him.He knows despite his desperation that this is just a fantasy of his. No man can resurrect.Sitting in the middle of the woods that used to be walls and of what is left of that place, he talked to him again. He talked to him about everything he has in mind.But, he never thought that this particular day would be the last day he would ever go to that place. ever. again.





	Remember.

**Author's Note:**

> \- This my first story on here so please dont judge.  
\- If I do any grammatical errors, please tell me.  
\- The end will probably leave you thinking or confused, it is normal! It is supposed to do so.  
\- Tell me if you cried.  
\- Enjoy babesss!!!

Walking to the familiar street he has walked many times before, Richie went where he always did for the past six months, the abandoned house. he walked there every single day at different time of the day. Day or night, no matter what the temperature was outside. He knew he needed to see him even if he could not see him physically. He knew Eddie was somewhere between the woods heaped up on top of one another. He just knew it. Then, the more he came, the more he realised that he was talking to the wind breezing loudly as the leaves flew away synchronically. After a month of only talking to himself and the pile of woods still there from _that _day, he decided to give up. Then, he felt it. He felt _it_, Eddie. He felt his presence in the piles still completely damaged. He never knew how to explain it nor who to talk to without sounding insane, but he knew it was him. He knew that Eddie wanted him to stay, that he wanted him to come back.

The abandoned haunted house used to be Pennywise's, the clown that took Eddie away from him. The scary clown. That scary clown he wanted to forget but never could. The scary clown that traumatised him from his early teens. The scary clown that took everything away from him; his life, his love, his feelings. There was nothing left of the house that was once the most scary residence of the street. Absolutely nothing. Richie had a shiver down his spine just thinking about that horrendous monster. He never understood how he could have forgot about that ancient creature for 27 years or that the love of his life even existed. He remembered the day he threw up before going on stage after Mike's call. Everything came back all at once, like a knife stabbing you in the chest. It was the most painful feeling he has ever felt in his entire life. Nothing could compare to what he felt that day. Nothing could compare to what it felt like to remember all at once the memories of a past life. Those memories he thought never existed, never happened.

Richie finally got to the now destroyed house and looked at the floor for a couple of seconds. He was here again. He was going to talk to his best friend again. He walked into the backyard and sat in the middle of the piles of woods, touching it as if he was touching someone, touching _him._ He then started talking.

"Hey eds. I'm here again. I missed you buddy. Well, it's only been sixteen hours but bro, I fucking missed you."

He looked around, making sure no one was listening and continued. 

"I finally quit my job today. You know, I was a failed comedian that could not even pay the rest of the bill at the end of the month." he stopped for a few seconds. "Fuck, it feels good. Never liked it anyway."

He passed a hand in his hair, as if he was nervous of what he was about to say next.

"They told me I would never get a chance like this in my lifetime but I made my choice anyway. I did not even write my own material."

He looked at the floor with the softest eyes and said "I wanted to stay with you."

He blushed when he realised the sentence that just came out of his mouth and started stuttering. 

"I- I- I m- I meant t-that I could c-come here m-more often."

He shut his eyes out of embarrassment, hoping Eddie did not hear that. Could he even hear him? The thought made him shiver a little. _Eds can you hear me dumbass? _he thought to himself, still having his eyes shut. He opened them slowly and progressively started talking again.

"The other losers know that I come here often, but not daily. Beverly was always asking me if I'm okay but she noticed that i'm happier every time i come back from here." He smiled. "She stopped asking me and only gives me the happiest smile every time she sees me." He kept smiling. "You know she's with Ben now? I swear she had a thing with Bill." He laughed. "She told me something about a poem, I did not understand everything, something about loving the wrong person for 27 years." He looked up at the sky "I swear she had a husband before all of this shit happened." "the other losers you may ask? i don't fucking know dude they have their own lives."

And this is when he thought of the person that left them before even starting to fight again. Stanley.

"Well, you know about Stan, you were with us when it happened. Well, we were not technically _there_ but we heard it on the phone. He was weak and _that thing _knew it." 

He had another memory of that night, Beverly saying 'in the bathtub' before his wife did. She saw the deadlights and so did he. 

He started to sweat from every single part of his body. His chest, his arms, his legs, everything was full of sweat. He had to tell him, he needed to, fuck fuck fuck. 

"Eds..do you remember t-the night, _that _night when you saved me from t-that monster's grief?" He paused. "Well, I never got to tell you what happened before you-you d-d-died. "He took a deep breath a continued. "Before you saved me, I saw the deadlights. _Those _deadlights, l-like Beverly did when we were younger." 

He could not continue. His eyes were full of tears, his body was a river of sweat, he felt weak, without complete energy. But he forced himself to continue anyway. He needed to tell him.

"I saw you Eds. I saw you." And he broke down.

Every tears he tried to control just flew down his face. He was weak too, and he knew it. All the emotions that went through his mind were overwhelming. His breath became heavier, and heavier and heavier. he was having a panic attack and he did not know how to stop it. So he did what was best to do. He spit it all out. 

"I saw you dying Eds, I saw you fucking dying in my arms" He cried. "YOU WERE DYING IN MY ARMS." He looked at the sky and said "When you hurt p-pennywise and we all thought you killed it and you came towards me, I thought that the images of you dying were fake, just my imagination. It was too good to be true because a second after, _it_ took you from me." 

He thought of what he said, tears still dropping down his face, his breath still heavy and the need to tell him something he should have done a long time ago. 

"Yes, that stupid thing took you from me because we were supposed to leave that place together, to be together until the end of time."

He took the deepest breath he has ever taken in his life. His hands were an ocean of sweat, his hair fully wet and his eyes were red from crying too much. He put his face on the ground for a solid second and then looked in front of him again before screaming the words he never thought he would say.

"We were supposed to be together because, damn it, I LOVE YOU." he screamed those three words and continued. "I love you, there.. I said it. I love you I love you i love you. More than a friend. Always have been this way, always will. Probably until the end of time."

He sighed and looked around him, no one to be seen, only the wind and the trees moving randomly as if they were dancing into a song they didn't know the lyrics from. He looked back in front of him at the pile of woods and touched it with his right palm and said "I am in love with you. I wished I told you this the day we were on the hammock." He smiled and continued. "You took my glasses off and slapped me in the face with your foot. I was pretending to be annoyed but man, I liked it." He smiled even brighter at the memory. "Do you remember when you always asked me what I was doing at the kissing bridge all the damn time and thought I had a girlfriend? well not exactly."

He laughed and said the deepest secret he has never told anyone.

"I used to go to the kissing bridge because I carved our initials in there. I was going from time to time to carve it to make sure it does not fade away. I did not wanted it to fade away because if it did, it was like our love was fading too." he looked at his hand and thought of the scare from the oath that disappeared when pennywise died. That memory faded when that monster was gone for good. He didn't want this to happen between him and Eddie. "After you died, I went back there after 27 years and carved it again into the old one to never make it fade away. ever."

He sighed of relief. He finally told the love of his life his feelings for him. He was truly free, no more secrets to hide, Eddie knows everything now. 

"I understand if you never felt the same but something tells me that you did." he paused. "It's just that being gay in the 80's was not the best thing ever. You were probably scared and I was scared too." He looked in front of him. "Those pieces of shit were bullying me for being who I am. I am gay and I am proud."

Suddenly, Richie saw a light coming from the sky. He looked up in confusion. The light was getting closer until he could clearly see that it was not one but three lights turning in circles. He felt the same feeling he felt when he saw the deadlights - fear. He soon realised that the pattern were too similar and before he knew it, he shut his eyes, put his head on the ground screaming while his hands were on his head.

"NO NO NO NO. NOT AGAIN. GO AWAY. I DON'T WANT TO SEE PEOPLE DIE AGAIN."

A few seconds lasted and nothing happened. He waited more, nothing. He then decided to slowly look up and at his surprise, the abandoned haunted house was perfectly on its feet, as if no one touched it or destroyed it. It looked exactly as it was before; scary windows, very dark, wooded from everywhere. He noticed a paper on the floor. He took it and read it. The paper he took was the same paper he read 27 years ago in the house. The 'missing Richie Tozier' with his baby face. He started to panic. He stood up and turned in circle. His head was spinning, he looked absolutely insane. All the memories he had of the losers club and especially Eddie were fading away. He was screaming for it to stop but nothing would happen, it was happening too fast. As soon as he knew it, he stopped, completely paralysed. The paper was gone. He did not know what he was doing here. He looked around out of confusion. _I have never seen this house before, _he told himself. 

His memory of the house were gone.

His memory of pennywise were gone.

His memory of the losers were gone. 

And every feeling or memory of his beloved Eddie, were gone, forever. 

He left the backyard feeling embarrassed, turned randomly into the next street and lost himself in the neighbourhood. 

He never saw the losers again and most certainly, he never went back to visit Eddie again. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this story as much as I loved writing it! I'm sorry if it made any of you cry or in a different state of mind, remember this is just a story. Some people have mentioned to me that they were upset that Stanley was not alive in the story, please remember this is happening after the catastrophe!!! It could not have been logical if he was suddenly back. I hope you guys understand.
> 
> You can follow me on Twitter (@hopwheelr) or on Instagram (hopwheelr as well)!  
I will maybe make more little stories like this so stay tuned.  
I love you all!!


End file.
